RSVP or Die

We sent out our invitations mid-March. Our RSVP deadline was May 1st, which gave our guests plenty of time to send them in.

But did they? Oh no. In fact, when May 1st arrived, we were still missing over 40 guests. Gurrrrr.

Three weeks later, and we've tracked down most of them. I seriously don't understand what goes through peoples' minds. Our most recent card arrived on Friday. Did that person really not realize they were sending it in 3 weeks late?!

And then you get the people who tell you verbally... like I'm really going to remember what meal you want!

Okay. End rant. Here come the numbers...

Invitations Mailed: 109
People Invited: 261 (everyone got a +1)
Yes: 154
No: 98
Still MIA: 9
Acceptance Rate: 61%

Breakdown...

Adults: 138
Teens: 9
Children: 7
OOT Guests: 58%

Those 9 missing people are driving me crazy. I told my family that if we don't hear from them by the end of the week, I'm marking them as a definitive "no". Ryan and I have to have the seating chart completely done by next weekend when we have our final meeting with our reception venue.

I can't believe how quickly this is going, and how much we still have left to do!

Just Batty for Bags

Welcome to my newest followers, Jacin and Kat. I love new readers!

Tonight we begin the saga of the OOT Bag. Back when we first got engaged, and I was beginning to compile my massive Excel budget, my mom said to me, "one thing I would really like to do is make little 'welcome bags' for all the out-of-town guests."

I laughed and told her that once again (and despite her lack of wedding blog knowledge), we are on the same page.

She told me it wasn't a matter of budget... she was going to do them no matter what.

Well, budget or no budget... I'm not the type of girl to pass up on a good bargain hunt. So hunt I did!

Dunwoody Booth: 8"x10", Twisted Paper Handle, Silver, $.50 each

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Cheap Tote Bags: 14"x15", Heavy Duty Canvas, Natural Color, $1.99 each

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Paper Mart: 8"x10", Twisted Paper Handle, Striped Flat Color Tint, Navy Blue, $.38 each

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Cheap Totes: 14"x16", Canvas, Natural Color, $.99 each

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Cheap Totes: 12"x15", Gusett Non-Woven, $.79 each

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The Knot: 8"x10", Twisted Paper Handle, $.95 each

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I know it's kind of like OOT bag overload (if you even made it this far!)... but if you're like me, it's nice to have a side-by-side comparison before making a decision.

Of course the final call will be left up to my mother... but it looks like the Paper Mart bags are the clear frontrunner when it comes to price.

Will you be making OOT bags for your guests? If so... what are you going to include in them?

Anniversary Wine Box

Welcome to my newest follower, Nicolette!

I have a really exciting idea to share with you all. It is an idea that has evolved over time since our engagement (probably since my discovery of WeddingBee), and has finally come to a grand conclusion.

It began with the Love Letter Wine Box ceremony. This is a ceremony that has gained popularity recently in place of a traditional unity ceremony. The bride and groom each write each other a love letter, then during the ceremony, it's sealed into a box with a bottle of wine and 2 wine glasses. The idea is, if ever their marriage is in jeopardy, they should take out the box and drink the wine while reading eachother's letters. It's sort of a last-ditch effort to save their failing relationship.

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I liked this idea, but I found it a little depressing. I definitely didn't want to do anything like that during the ceremony. Our guests would think we were planning for divorce or something.

Ryan thought it would be a better idea if we did the Love Letter Wine Box by ourselves... and just planned on opening it on a special anniversary (5, 10, 25... whatever). Better, but a little boring.

Then I thought... what if we let our guests write us notes and put them in the box as well?! We could read all their notes when we opened the box. How fun would that be!

But then.

Ohhh, wait for it.

I discovered something called the Anniversary Box. Start your brain with a clean slate and picture this: During the rehearsal dinner, each guest is given a numbered card. They are asked to write a short letter to the couple on the card and seal it in an envelope. The cards are then placed in a box. The couple may read one card at each anniversary (the card whose number corresponds with the anniversary).

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Super cute!

Do you see where I'm going with this?

I'm going to combine the two!

We will have a box (which I already purchased at Hobby Lobby). It will have a bottle of wine in it and will be on display at the rehearsal dinner. Before or after dinner, the guests will write their numbered notes and leave them in the box. Then, at each anniversary, we will open the box, drink the wine, and read one card from a loved one. After the anniversary is over, we will put in a new bottle of wine, seal it back up, and wait for the next anniversary.

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OMG. I can't believe my little brain came up with this all on its own! I'm excited... and it's a great way to incorporate our guests into every single one of our anniversaries from now until 50.

The Big Gap

After Saturday's wedding, I started to think a lot about our wedding day timeline. The wedding we attended had 1 hour between the ceremony and reception, with a 15 minute commute.

Here's the problem.... we have a whopping 3 1/2 hours between our ceremony and reception, with a 30 minute commute.

That is a long time!

I cringe at the thought, but there's nothing we can do about it. The ceremony must start at 3pm, and the cocktail hour must start at 6:30pm. No way around it.

My mom insists it's no big deal, and it's not my problem to worry about the guests... but I can't help it.

I know most people won't want to do any sightseeing or anything like that with their formal clothes on, so that isn't really an option.

Here are some ideas I came up that might help the long transition...

• We could have some water, iced tea, and/or lemonade at the church immediately following the ceremony. Guests could get a cold drink and mingle after they go through the receiving line.
  
• There could be a short list in the back of the program with some nearby bars and cafes where guests could hang out.
• We could rent a hospitality suite at our hotel for out-of-town guests who aren't spending the night to take a break.
• There could be an insert in the program with a list of time-appropriate movies showing near the reception venue.
• We could set up bocce ball, cornhole, and other easy games at the park near the church.

That's all I've got. I know it's common for people to open up their homes in between the ceremony and reception, but we will be having 200 guests, and my mom is hosting brunch the next day, so I don't think that's something they want to do.

The Venue Reveal

In case you didn't figure it out from my earlier post, Ryan and I decided to have our reception at the Patrick C. Haley Mansion in Joliet.

::Cue the Applause::


After our obnoxiously long weekend touring venues, we had it narrowed down to the Haley Mansion and the John Hancock Center. But we found it extremely difficult to decide between two very different spaces.

Ultimately, it came down to logistics. It would be a huge pain to plan a wedding atop the John Hancock building (although... um, gorgeous much?!). Would we have enough room? Where would the photo booth go? Would our guests get claustrophobic? What if they're afraid of heights? How would we decorate around the conference-room vibe? Where would everyone park?

The Haley Mansion had everything we wanted except location. So I shed one small tear for my dream Chicago wedding, and we signed the contract.

But it wasn't until after we decided on the mansion that we really hashed out what it would cost. And let me tell you... a 200-person minimum can seriously kill your budget. On the plus side... I no longer have concerns over who will and won't be invited. Everyone's invited! I figure if we have to pay for 200 people, we might as have 200 people! Take note, future brides... do your research on the cost before you sign the contract! Our budget was more than blown.

Hello, big wedding!

The Great Venue Drama

This past weekend was a whirlwind to say the least. We visited six venues in one day… spread out all over the greater Chicagoland area! As soon as I get my pictures off my digital camera, I promise to post full reviews of each of the finalists.


I won’t give it away just yet… but I think Ryan and I have decided on our reception venue. It wasn’t one of those “omg, this is it” moments like you often hear about. Our decision was based on price, convenience, and logistics mostly.

Now, only 2 days into the big decision, we’re already having venue drama.

First of all, we haven’t booked it yet. Doesn’t seem like a big deal on the surface, except that apparently all the other 2011 brides are way more on top of things than I am, because Saturday evening reception venues are being booked up left and right!

I have one weekend in June which we can’t have the wedding due to a conflict. On top of that, I can’t do any weekends in May because I work in television, and May is a sweeps month! So we are looking at 3 weekends in June. And our future venue only has one of those weekends available.

So why haven’t I booked it yet? Because I’m waiting to hear back from the ceremony site. We’re having the ceremony at my home church. I have called (probably more times than is socially acceptable) and emailed the coordinator at the church asking if that date is available, but she hasn’t responded.

I kind of want to stop and yell, “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?” for making me wait… but I know I’m just being a typical stressed-out bride. I have to keep reminding myself that the world won’t end if we can’t have our wedding in June. So what? We’ll push it back to July. (Gurr… we better not have to push it back to July…)


The next issue we’ve discovered is the cost. Yes, that makes us sound like idiots who didn’t do proper research. But when you’re browsing dozens (ok, hundreds) of potential venues, you tend to do a super quick rough estimate of the cost.

Well, my “super quick rough estimate” for our future venue did not include things like a $4 per person charge for cake, or a $3 per person charge to give them an entrée option. Or… oh, I dunno… our venue’s 200 person minimum. That’s 60 or 70 more people than we planned on inviting. So if we don’t make 60 or 70 new friends in the next 13 months, we have to pay for imaginary friends. Joy!


So add all that up, and you come up with a cost that is 67% of our total budget (instead of the recommended 45%). Eek! Yes, my parents are paying. And yes, my mom says it’s no big deal. But in my eyes, that is a lot of money… and it only means one thing for the year ahead: a lot more DIY projects.

To Invite or Not to Invite

We haven't made up the official invite list yet, but we have compiled a rough draft. This is mainly so we can give venues a rough estimate. At this point, we are looking at around 150 guests.

But the biggest problem I'm having is deciding whether or not to invite work friends.

Ryan's thoughts: "If you met them outside of work, would you be friends with them? If not, then don't invite them."

Ouch. That's harsh. I feel like it's a bit more complicated than that. I have a few people who I see every day and who I hang out and gossip with when I'm bored. True, they're older and in a completely different place in life than I am (married with numerous kids), but our differences don't seem that great when I'm around them.

Do people really look like this at work?

Usually we just point and laugh at each other's mistakes.

Plus, I feel a little guilty talking "wedding" at work if I'm not going to end up inviting them. Don't get me wrong... I try really hard to keep the wedding chat to a minimum, but sometimes people ask, and I have to answer... and other times, they read things I write on Facebook (stupid social networking sites), and comment when they see me.

Is it worth inviting work friends just to make them feel included... even if it means more money and more hassle for the big day?